Re: Business site: Accountant site critique

In a message dated 11/17/99 1:43:33 AM Eastern Standard Time, 
machodges(at)prontoservices.com writes:

> http://www.prontoservices.com/account

Hi,

I don't often add my critiques to this group as I feel I don't have the years 
of experience many do. But once in a while I will say something (smile).

You seem to be looking for overall eye appeal, based upon your initial 
request. I will tell you this:

Your site has the appearance of someone who knows the dogmatic language of 
html programming, but not the flashy appeal that is necessary in capturing a 
viewer's attention for more than 30 seconds.

I viewed the site with IE. I don't like embossed button boxes as they appear 
unnecessary to emboss.

Typical of an accountant's "dry" sense of seeing things, there is no "flash" 
nor "sex appeal" (if you will) to the page. I believe that is what you wanted 
to know based upon your initial request for a critique.

I've talked of this before to this group. But your use of the English 
language is tortured and too verbose. Make it clean, sweet and simple. Again, 
it sounds like an accountant or lawyer wrote the text for this page.

Most specifically, you wrote in the body of your page: "Click on any of the 
links to learn about us and how we can help you, our different services, or 
how to contact us for a free, no obligation consultation."

That is one of the most grammatically tortured sentences I have ever seen. It 
should be written as follows:

" Click on any of the links to learn about us. Learn how we can help you with 
our different services. Learn how to contact us for a free, no obligation 
consultation with us." 

See the difference?

Someone who is new to the web, wanting a web page, I'm sure, will find what 
they saw very appealing. But that page does not appear to fit into the 
"mainstream" genre of what is currently acceptable to be eye appealing. I 
have found that you either load a portal with lots of text links or you have 
a page with super, high speed loading graphics or you're out of business.

Just my thoughts (smile).

Doug

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