Re: Critique new commercial site

by simone(at)genesisnetwork.net (Demitrius)

 Date:  Wed, 4 Feb 1998 16:05:11 -0800
 To:  <gendress(at)symbios.com>,
"Web Critique" <hwg-critique(at)hwg.org>
  todo: View Thread, Original
Hi Gabriele,

Site critiqued: http://www.geocities.com/~rielle/
Viewed with a P133, 28.8, 640x480, MSIE 4.0

>1. browser type/version
See above.

>2. O/S type/version
Win 95B

>3. screen resolution
See above.

>4. any and all comments on layout/design

I like your background. But the logo is hard to read. In fact, I'm not sure
what the first word says.

I would get rid of the <HR>'s. Okay, maybe one at the bottom, but definitely
not 3 in a row.

Who is your target audience? Because in your first sentence you say, "Need a
website and don't know where to start?" and then in the next paragraph you
say, "...many ISPs will allow you to host a website, or I can recommend some
to you) and an FTP client ...".

ISP?!  FTP?! If a person is just starting out, they won't have a clue about
what you're referencing. Question; shouldn't *you* be uploading your
client's website? If I ever asked one of my clients to upload their site,
they probably wouldn't have hired me.

I would get rid of all the wording in parentheses. Make all this a primary
part of the information. IMO, parentheses are a much more casual structure,
not something you want to use to introduce your company.

There's LOTS more you need to say in order to sell yourself, to create a
compelling reason to move your prospect to action. May I suggest you visit
the following sites and get some inspiration:

http://cdsmedia.com/
http://www.cris.com/~dhb/
http://www.iab.com/home.html
http://junior.apk.net/~jbarta/
http://www.mediarevolution.com/htmls/home.html
http://www.verso.com/
http://www.digitalpulp.com/
http://members.aol.com/mrdemitri/

Glad to see you have a forms based contact page. You'll get more results
that way. IMO, however, you're asking too many questions up front. They are
excellent questions, please don't get me wrong, it's just that this early in
the sales cycle they're a bit premature. Instead, just ask for basic contact
info; name, address, e-mail, and phone. Then you can ask those questions in
a conversational way as you are speaking with them. They may need a lot of
hand  holding here. I know my clients do.

Also, you may want to add some sort of input validation such as JavaScript
or CGI to ensure that the form is filled out completely. That way you'll get
a complete lead - or not. Also, you'll want to add a custom reply page once
the form has been submitted. Right now all they get is a generic page that
looks nothing like you site.

That's all I had time for. Good luck.

Regards,
Demitrius >I<
------------------------------------------------A. Demitrius Lopez
       W  E  B  S  I  T  E     D  E  V  E  L  O  P  E  R
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               to the HWG Governing Board
http://www.hwg.org/election1998/lopez.html
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