Re: Second request for Critique

Sandy:

I agree with Will.  We need to be responsible with the facts when we 
post them on the internet.  Especially when posting as tutorial 
material.  WWW was invented in 1990 by Tim Berners.  Check-out WC3 WWW 
Consortium's site for a brief description of the history: 
http://www.w3.org/People/W3Cpeople.html

Regards.

-Collin


----Original Message Follows----
Date: Tue, 30 Dec 1997 09:47:51 -0900
To: hwg-critique(at)hwg.org
From: bower(at)polarnet.com (Will)
Subject: Re:  Second request for Critique

        Hey Sandy,

Powermac 275mhz  64 meg RAM  24-bit 832x624 15" monitor
33.6 dialup    NN 4.03, NN 3.0, IE 3.01

<SNIP>
>newbie web designers.  The URL is http://www.eskimo.com/~wallama/pnw/
>All comments & suggestions are most welcomed:^))
>
>Sandy Stillwell
>PNW Web Design
<SNIP>

1: Minor point on the ~wallama/pnw/tutor1.htm page. The first paragraph
says that the WWW was born in 1993 and that the Internet originally
functioned "much like a DOS environment". AAACKK! I don't have the exact
date, but the WWW was in experimental use in the early 1980's, soon 
after
the HTTP protocols were developed. The first *graphical* browsers were
released in 1990 or '91. And what about the Gopher system used by the U. 
of
Minnesota? That's a fully graphic interface, and Gopher has been around
since the mid '80's. Also, the second paragraph claims that WWW 
facilitated
the use of "e-mail....newsgroups....networking". These uses of the 
Internet
have nothing to do with the WWW, and were developed WAY before the WWW 
came
along. I'm sorry I can't provide exact dates right now, but I would 
suggest
researching this information a bit more.

2: Same page, under the "Do I Want To Be A Web Designer" title. The 
third
paragraph starts off with this sentence "Was that the end, not hardly." 
I
had to read this twice to understand what you were saying. Maybe you 
could
rewrite it?

3: Out of curiosity, read your ~wallama/pnw/resume.htm page. Hmmm... I 
lost
count of the number of typos, spelling errors, and grammatical mistakes
(over a dozen in the first 1/3 of the page). I would suggest *seriously*
reviewing this page.

4: The navigation links at the bottom of each page are a little funky. I
went from the PSP4 Tuturial to the Resume page, and would like to go 
back
now. However, there's no link, just straight "Tutorial PSP4" text. ???

        Overall, the layout is ok, a little dull, but it works. However,
there are quite a few factual errors in the various pages, and literally
*dozens* of spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. I would personally
recommend pulling this site off the 'Net until you can work your way
through the text with a dictionary and a grammar book. I'm sorry if I've
offended you, but it's very difficult to impress anyone with your web
design skills if your home site has repeated errors like "develope" and
"Owner of Stillwell Enterprises a Consulting & Marketing Firm".

                                                        Good luck!
                                                        Will Bower





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