Re: Please critique Renoir jewellery site

Another nit-picking item. The correct spelling is "jewelry." And, yes, it is
a collective noun, so is treated as singular. I would phrase the statement
as "All jewelry is in a limited edition of 4." Or "All jewelry items are in
a limited edition of 4."

A very nice site, overall.

Dusty
(the English teacher)


----- Original Message -----
From: "Steve Devoti" <steve.devoti(at)worldnet.att.net>
To: <hwg-critique(at)hwg.org>
Sent: Monday, August 26, 2002 12:51 PM
Subject: RE: Please critique Renoir jewellery site


> I think you have some grammatical errors.
>
> "All jewellery are limited editions of 4, but every piece being handmade
> and all stones being different (especially ammolite), every piece is
> unique."
>
> First even though jewellery means multiple pieces it still gets a single
> tense verb. Then some of the other wording seems awkward. I think it
> should either be jewellery "is available only in limited editions of 4"
> or "sets (pieces, etc.) of jewellery are available only...". Then
> something like "Also, please note that since each piece is handmade and
> all stones are different (especially ammolite), each piece is unique."
>
> Another place: "She started designing around this gemstone which
> luminous qualities rival the famous black opal for colour and fire."
> Should be "which has (or possesses) luminous qualities that rival...".
>
> Some kind of pricing information would be helpful and I would make the
> contact info. more obvious on the pages where they view the detail.
>
> The copy you have underlined that isn't a link I find confusing. I think
> most people expect copy with that appearance to be a link.
>
> This is the picky part (okay, maybe it was all picky)- The collection
> page is easy to read, but I think there may be some way to add a little
> punch to the layout visually. It is almost too clean for such an
> artistic product. Saying this I don't really have too many ideas for
> you. I can't even say what it is that bothers me: the fonts, the line
> spacing or the boxes. Maybe it is just me! I also think a nice graphic
> of one of the stones or jewellery pieces would add some punch to the
> home page. I think it needs a little color.
>
> It is an organized clean site with a lot of information in it. Good job.
>
> Lori
> -----Original Message-----
> From: owner-hwg-critique(at)hwg.org [mailto:owner-hwg-critique(at)hwg.org] On
> Behalf Of Catherine Renoir
> Sent: Monday, August 26, 2002 12:15 PM
> To: hwg-critique(at)hwg.org
> Subject: Please critique Renoir jewellery site
>
>
> Hello,
>
> Could you please critique my site at
> http://www.renoirjewellery.com/class.  This site was createdc during the
> HTML 2 class.  I look forward for your feedback.
>
> Thank you,
>
> Catherine Renoir
> mailto:catherine(at)renoirinc.com
>
>
>
>
>

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