techniques in use today and tomorrow

When perusing a jobs site I came across listing after listing that specified
an unholy list of skills expected in a "web designer", the most flagrant
expectations were from one company that listed its expectations as follows:
"...experience with the following: ? Windows / UNIX as operating systems ? C
/ C++ / VB / PL/SQL etc. as programming languages ? Knowledge of CGI
scripting languages ( Perl ) ? Some relational database experience ( Oracle,
Sybase ) ? Internet / Web design / HTML / DHTML / XML/ Java / Javascript /
TCL / CGI / OO Design ? Internet Explorer ? Experience with e-procurement
(Buy side and Sell side) ? Netscape, BillerXpert, BuyerXpert, NAS (Netscape
Application Server), LDAP, SellerXpert, Buyerxpert, ECxpert or
Commercexpert, Tradexpert, NetVendor and sell side implementations ? Seagate
Reporting Tool ? Windows NT, 95, 98, - Macintosh 8.6, 9, X, SUN Solaris, AIX
? Adode Photoshop 5.5 ? Adobe Illustrator 8 ? Macromedia Dreamweaver 3 ?
Macromedia Fireworks 3 ? Marcomedia Flash 4 ? Marcomedia Freehand 8 (soon 9)
? Alliar HomeSite 4.5 ? Ariba, Commerce One, Clarus, Intellisys,
FutureTense, Netscape Commerce Server, MS Siteserver (Commerce Edition),
net.commerce, Vignette, Open Market, Broadvision, SQL Server, Persimmon,
ICAT, ? Middleware products - IBM MQ Series, Tuxedo."
As a relative newbie, how can I hope to learn, much less master all of that
without giving up the rest of all my waking hours devoted to learning such
an immense body of material?? I had thought getting a mastery of HTML first
followed by some scripting languages like Javascript & VBScript & Perl,
combined with some strong emphasis on DHTML --especially cross-browser
compatibility was a tough enough row to hoe.
Does anyone know of some crash courses to get a leg up on what is expected
nowadays?

much thanks in advance...
Lady Wistfulee

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